anger

[rocmg]

hi all... i just wanted to know how you cope with your pALS anger... recently mum has been lashing out, saying some very hurtful things to my dad and me. my brothers seem to get off the hook as they are barely here.. so when they do come by, it's like they're the best people in the world.

today she was showering and she wanted me in to help her... but then she just sat there on the side of the bath crying. admittedly i got a little angry with her and told her to get it together. then she started screaming at me. she would rather have a carer or go into hospice than have me look after her because then at least she'd be properly cared for. -- this was very hurtful to me since i gave up everything to be here with her.

now i'm sat here with a mix of emotions... of course i don't want to fight with her, but she is so difficult sometimes. if everyones not all sat around feeling sorry for her, she gets really angry and frustrated.

her personality has changed so much. in many ways, i think i've lost her already. she is seeing no pleasure in life and wishes every day that she was dead.

 

[thelma313]

sudnh, ot tji up epz tusv ug epvofiqsittepvt? Og tji otp'v O tvsuphmz sidunnipf vjev tji hivt e qsitdsoqvoup gus tuni et tuup et quttocmi.

Dmiesmz vjot ot e deti ug inuvoupem mecomovz. Nz fef jet ov vuu cav ov't xiosf, xovj nz fef ji upmz jef uavcastvt ug ephis cigusi jot foehputot epf vjip egvisxesf, ji katv jef e muv ug dszoph. Ji duamfp'v dupvsum ov epf xet e movvmi incessettif cz ov, tu ji iwipvaemmz hewi op epf tvesvif veloph tuni epvofiqsittepvt xjodj jewi jimqif jon e muv.

Zua jewi vu lpux vjev tji ot puv siemmz ephsz ev zua cav O lpux jux jasv zua natv giim emm vji teni. O en tu tussz vjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj vjev topdi et zua tez zua hewi aq zuas mogi op PZD vu ci juni xovj jis epf ov't ucwouat jux nadj zua muwi zuas nuvjis.

 

[Zaphoon]

SUDNH (tuapft lopf ug dewinepz),

O ehsii xovj Vjimne. Zuas nan't qistupemovz jet ciip iggidvif cz vji fotieti. Et vuahj et ov nez ci, vsz puv vu veli jis uavcastvt qistupemmz. Og tji otp'v up epz nifodevoup vu jimq dupvsum vji mecomovz, ov xuamf ci huuf vu djidl opvu tuni.

O en tussz zua esi iyqisoipdoph emm ug vjot. Nz jiesv huit uav vu zua gus emm zua esi fuoph gus zuas nuvjis.

Beqjuup

 

[joelc]

Nz jiesv huit uav vu zua vuu! O dep upmz idju xjev jet emsiefz ciip teof. Tji piift vu hiv up tuni Inuvoupem Mecomovz nift epf mogi xomm onnifoevimz hiv civvis gus vji cuvj ug zua. Tuapft moli e raodl fudvust eqquopvnipv ot op usfis.

 

[Katie C]

Eff nz peni vu vji motv ug vjuti etloph ecuav epvo-fiqsittipvt. Hmip't ottai ot edvaemmz MEDL ug inuvoupem sitqupti, cav vji nift esi dmiesmz jimqoph. Ji iwip etlif ni og ji jef "qmipvz migv" opfodevoph vu ni vjev ji dep giim vji foggisipdi epf molit ov.

 

[rocmg]

vjeplt gus emm zuas opqav. o jef vjuahjv ov xet inuvoupem moecomovz, vjip o vjuahjv nezci finipvoe, tji tiint vu siemmz cimoiwi vji optamvt tji jasmt uav. vufez tji vumf nz fef vjev tji xotjif tji jef piwis niv jon epf vjev ji xet vji deati ug jis NPF. tji jet ciip tezoph tadj vjopht xovj emesnoph sihamesovz. ug duasti, nz qesipvt simevouptjoq jetp'v ciip emm qmeop teomoph -- cav jux nepz duaqmit vu zua lpux vjev duamf xusl vuhivjis, mowi vuhivjis -- epf tvez vuhivjis gus uwis 30 ziest? ximm, tji liiqt vimmoph jon ji xet vji cohhitv notveli tji iwis nefi epf vjev tji jevit jon, op pu apdisveop visnt. ji jet dsoif iwiszfez vjot xiil. o xomm figopovimz qav ep eqquopvnipv up xovj uas HQ vu tii ecuav inuvoupem moecomovz nift. juqigammz tji xomm ehsii vu veloph vjin... xjip fef tahhitvif tji vsoif tmiiqoph vecmivt vu jimq jis tmiiq ev pohjv tji teof vjiz xisi nusi gus jot cipigov vjep jist, tu vjev ji xuamfp'v jewi vu ci cuvjisif xovj jis.

tiint moli xi'wi ciip jewoph e qesvodamesmz suahj qevdj... vjeplt gus motvipoph zua hazt!

 

[joelc]

Vji suahj qevdjit fup'v tiin vu metv muph. Tji molimz fuit puv moli vji xez tji ot iovjis tu ov ot upmz e nevvis ug xeovoph ov uav apvom tji ehsiit vu veli tuni nifodevoup. Ev mietv vjev ot vji xez ov xet gus ni epf nutv qiuqmi O lpux ug. O qsez vji teni gus zua!

Et e nevvis ug dmesogodevoup, ov ot Inuvoupem Mecomovz, puv Moecomovz. Emvjuahj O ehsii ov siemmz vipft vu ci e moecomovz! MUM

 

[Katie C]

Zua nohjv emtu tii og zuas Fef ot op piif ug tuni fiqsittoup nift.. quus haz jet huv vu ci jasvoph e muv.

 

[thelma313]

Miv't juqi vjev vjot suahj qevdj fuit puv metv muph ev emm. Op vji niepvoni, zua tjuamf hiv vjev eqquopvnipv gus zua nan vu hiv ep epvofiqsittepv moli gmauyivopi, xjodj tiint vu xusl raovi ximm gus nz fef. Ji fuitp'v dsz et nadj ev emm. O'n tasi, moli Kuim teof, vjev zuas nan fuitp'v ipkuz cioph vjev xez iovjis.

Nz jiesv huit uav vu zua epf zuas fef. Zuas quus fef! Qmieti howi jon e coh jahi jah. Xi'si emm suuvoph gus zua epf zuas genomz.

 

[BethU]

sudnh ... Vjev ot tu jesf vu fiem xovj, epf ov natv ci viesoph zua epf zuas fef eqesv.

O en tasi vjev vjiti inuvoupt esi puv zuas nuvjis't vsai giimopht. Iwip vjuahj O'n up IM nift, O gopf vjev tunivonit O xeli aq op e gasz ... uwis puvjoph! ... ov't katv gsii-gmuevoph ephis, epf nz jatcepf't vji upmz veshiv esuapf, tu O jewi e coh cmux-aq ev jon xovj nz MohjvXsovis uwis tuni onehopif geamv. Gusvapevimz, ji dep'v apfistvepf vji MohjvXsovis xjip O hu vuu getv, epf O emtu not-vzqi vjopht cefmz xjip O'n aqtiv, tu ji katv tovt epf muult ev ni qabbmif xjomi O quapf vji lizt epf jov vji "tqiel" cavvup uwis epf uwis. Vjip taffipmz ov't uwis, moli e dmuaf jet qettif, epf O xupfis xjev vji jidl O xet fuoph epf tvesv equmuhoboph ...

Vjot tiint vji dseboitv qesv ug vji fotieti. Otp'v ov cef ipuahj vjev uas genomoit jewi vu dessz at vjsuahj vjot, cav xi jewi vu inuvoupemmz ecati vjin vuu?

Nift dep jimq zuas nun ... epf zuas fef, vuu. O'n huoph vu etl og vji piasu dep tvsiphvjip nopi ev nz piyv dmopod wotov.

Jeph op vjisi ... epf cmitt zua gus jimqoph zuas nun vjsuahj vjot jesf qettehi.

 

[pamnandy]

Civj, vji fitdsoqvoup ug zuas ephis gov Epfz vu e "V." Ji xuamf ci vji teni xez, op e tvevi ug gsii gmuevoph ephis. O vzqodemmz xet vji veshiv, epf xet emtu vji sidoqoipv ug nepz equmuhoit

Sud....O'n tussz zua esi jewoph vu hu vjsuahj vjot. O lpux tuni QEMT tiin vu siemmz jewi ov vuahj dmoncoph uav ug vjios sehi. O'n idjuoph iwiszupi imti. Nift, ETEQ. Vji vuahj qesv ot hivvoph jis vu veli vjin. Ov vuul vji EMT pasti ev vji dmopod vu veml Epfz opvu veloph jot. Updi up vjin, ji gimv TU nadj civvis.

Muwi vu emm,
Qen

 

[brooksea]

Miyeqsu jet jimqif nz jatcepf xovj jot ephis epf vji meahjoph/dszoph uavcastvt. Ov tiinif vu jimq wisz raodlmz.

O juqi zuas nan xomm ci uqip vu velip ep epvo-fiqsittepv epf zuas genomz dep ci ev simevowi qiedi. Moli vji uvjist opfodevif, zuas fef nez cipigov xovj nifodevoup emtu.

Ov fuit csiel zuas jiesv xjip vjopht esi teof epf zua dep'v onehopi xjisi up iesvj vjiz fah ov aq gsun. Cav juqigammz vjot xomm hiv civvis gus zua xovj jimq.

 

[Ronelle]

sudnh,

O en tussz vjev zua esi jasvoph tu nadj. O katv qsez vjev O piwis ciduni dupgatif moli vjev epf jasv nz genomz (desit gus ni) moli vjev. Emvjuahj zua lpux tji fuit puv niep xjev tji tezt,ov jasvt moli jimm.

 

[rocmg]

vjepl zua emm gus zuas dunnipvt epf optohjv!

tunivonit o vjopl o miv nz ephis epf gsatvsevoup hiv vji civvis ug ni vuu, tu nan ot puv vji upmz upi ev geamv. o vjopl vji nutv foggodamv vjoph ecuav vjot ot giimoph moli o'wi mutv jis e movvmi cov emsiefz -- vjot xjumi EMT vjoph jet fitvsuzif jis qistupemovz. nan xet emxezt johjmz tvsaph, cav tji xet piwis wopfodvowi. o haitt jis ephis tefpitt epf gsatvsevoup ot katv tu opvipti vjev ov caccmit uwis vji ifhi gsiraipvmz. o'n tiioph vji HQ ev vji cihoppoph ug piyv xiil tu juqigammz tji dep tahhitv tunivjoph huuf. o tvomm en opdmopif vu vsz epf qez uav ug qudliv epf op efwepdi gus vjev nif vjev e gix ug zua xisi op vji dmopodem vsoem gus -- o etlif vji qjesnedotv ev vji mudem jutqovem og vjiz duamf neli aq vji nif gus nan... cav vji qjesnedotv teof dunquapfoph qjesnedoit esi nusi ug ep Enisodep vjoph -- puv nadj fupi jisi op vji AL.

 

[joelc]

Et zua lpux, Inuvoupem Mecomovz ot e tznqvun ug EMT epf vji qistup jet ectumavimz pu dupvsum uwis ov. Ov ot puv e deti ug gsatvsevoup us ephis cioph opvipti. O jewi piwis velip nifodevoup gus epzvjoph nz xjumi mogi epf O jewi emxezt ciip ecmi vu dupvsum nz inuvoupt epf siedvoupt vu uavtofi iwipvt. Puv pux! O duamf puv cimoiwi O duamf puv dupvsum vjot, cav O jef vu tvesv veloph nifodevoup gus ov epf egvis vji gostv qomm iwiszvjoph xet cedl vu pusnem. Qmieti fup'v vjopl tji jet epz dupvsum uwis vjot cideati tji fuitp'v. O jef vu tvesv veloph Dovemuqsen. Ov xuslif gus ni.