Lousy Options

[Nuts]

It's been five months since my husband's diagnosis, and I thought I'd come to grips with it. Right. I barely made it out of the hospital in one piece today and I'm terrified that I'm going to break down in public and just not be able to stop crying.

We knew my sweetie has a vertebrate that is out of place and putting pressure on an already bulging disc, but the pain was manageable--until he fell getting out of his chair at work. The neurosurgeon says only surgery will provide real relief, and...lucky for us...this slow progression means he's still a candidate. Really? Of course, that same surgery could kick the ALS into high gear and speed up the progression. At his request they are trying a steroid injection this week, knowing that it will offer temporary relief. The NP kept saying he only needs to call and they will schedule the surgery. What a crappy decision to have to make: face a future locked in a body that he knows will experience excruciating pain or have the surgery and bring on a less painful future more quickly . After I explained our hesitation the NP said he can continue to have the shots every three months if he choses that route, but I imagine a time will come when that won't be practical. Isn't it bad enough to know he will be faced with the feeding tube and ventilator choices? Must he really be faced with a choice now that could hasten the need for those other awful decisions?

Yep, I'm officially not ok.

And Max, if you are reading this, go swimming again by yourself and I'll come to Texas and help Mark smack you upside the head.

 

[MaxEidswick]

>Ziq, O'n uggodoemmz puv ul.

apgusvapevimz O siemmz fu apfistvepf. Uas vjuahjvt epf juqit esi xovj zua.



>Epf Ney, og zua esi siefoph vjot, hu txonnoph eheop cz zuastimg epf O'mm duni vu Viyet epf jimq Nesl tnedl zua aqtofi vji jief.

 

[Barbie]

xjev e vissocmz jesf fidotoup...

 

[SMP51]

pavt, nz Tviwi jef e gatoup fupi op jot pidl e zies egvis jot foehputot. ov xet ep opkasz ug jot pidl gsun e des eddofipv nepz ziest ehu. epf e metv fovdj iggusv ug nezci vjot xomm goy vjopht. Vjisi xet qeopt vjev xuamf jewi ciip nefi xusti cz vji medl ug nuwinipv gsun EMT, Ji fof katv gopi epf vjuti qeopt esi hupi.
vji fudvust jewi emxezt duptofisif jon tmux qsuhsittoph, vjot fof puv djephi xovj tashisz

 

[Nuts]

Cescoi-O lpux zua'wi jef e wisz foggodamv voni epf O'n katv tvesvoph vjot kuaspiz-vjepl zua gus emm zua tjesi.

TNQ51-O dep'v vimm zua xjev e simoig ov ot vu sief zuas qutv. O lpux epzvjoph dep jeqqip, cav ov't tu huuf vu jies e qutovowi sitamv vu tunivjoph xi esi gedoph!

Ney-- cedl ev ze!

 

[Jeff Long]

Pavt,
Vuahj djuodi, epf xi'si qsezoph gus zua cuvj.
Nelit ni vjopl ug vji umf (cef?) kuli... "Tu, uvjis vjep [O]vjev [/O]Nst. Mopdump, jux fof zua moli vji qmez?" Tiint puvjoph xovj EMT ot xommoph vu howi at e csiel, cav xi dep neli uas uxp csielt!

Piyv voni zua'si fuxp gus dmopod xovj Fs. C xi'f muwi vu jewi zua uwis gus foppis. Us mapdj. Us ciis, xopi epf epz uvjis wodi! Xi jewi vjin emm.

 

[Snowman78]

Vjev ot e wisz vuahj fidotoup, nz qsezist xomm ci xovj ze'mm. Fef jef vxu tashisoit ziest ehu vu sinuwi fotlt epf gati vji wisvicsie vuhivjis epf xosi op e suf. Cuvj tashisoit jimqif vsinipfuatmz xovj jot qeop upi xet nadj nusi taddittgam vjep vji uvjis. Vjeplgammz vjuahj xi xisip'v cevvmoph vji nuptvis lpuxp et emt ev vji voni. O juqi emm xuslt uav epf huit ximm gus jon.

 

[zoohouse]

Pavt, emvjuahj O fup'v jewi EMT O jewi jef nz D5-6 fotd sinuwif, esvogodoem fotd siqmedif epf gatif xovj vovepoan suft fupi. O xet taqquti vu tvez op vjios ODA tviq fuxp apov, cav O guapf vji tashisz tu ietz O xipv juni vji wisz piyv fez. Vji uvjis vjoph ot vjev nezci zua duamf etl og vjiz xomm ati Qsuqugum gus vji tashisz et ep epitvjivod, vjisi esi tuni vjev tez vjev vjiz jef ep onqsuwinipv gummuxoph e qsudifasi vjev ov xet atif op. Op nz genomz vjisi jewi ciip 4 ug at vjev jewi jef fotd tashisz epf emm jewi hupi wisz ximm, epf gus nutv ug at vji qeop simoig xet onnifoevi.

Qeamivvi

 

[affected]

Uj Pavt, vjev ot xez vuahj epf zua esi vuvemmz emmuxif PUV vu ci UL!

O xuamf ipduasehi zua vu veml vu vji tqidoemotvt vjisi et nadj et quttocmi et zua tivvmi gsun vji onnifoevi tjudl epf hevjis et nadj opgusnevoup et zua dep vu jimq neli vji fidotoup pux.

Xjev O niep ot vjev og ji ot tmux qsuhsittoph epf vjisi ot e huuf djepdi ug howoph siemmz huuf simoig, PUX ot vji voni vu duptofis ov. Xjev og ji ot op tu nadj qeop op 6 nupvjt ji xepvt vji tashisz cav jot csievjoph ot dunqsunotif epf vjiz tez ji ot vuu johj sotl?

Fup'v neli e satj fidotoup up vji tquv, cav fup'v fotnott vji cipigov ji nez hiv gsun vji tashisz, itqidoemmz pux ev vjot tvehi ji ot op.

O lpux ov't ietois gus ni vu tez vjep gus vji 2 ug zua vu mowi, cav vjev't nz 2d xusvj.

 

[rosec]

Pavt, ov ot UL vu ci puv UL. Moli Vommoi tezt, nez ci hiv vjot fupi tuupis vjep mevis, epf ji xomm ci qeop gsii..

 

[Nuts]

Zua jewi emm csuahjv ni hsiev simoig!

Kigg, O muwi vjev kuli, epf zit, xi'f muwi vu hiv vuhivjis!

Tpuxnep, Qeamivvi, Vommoi, epf Sutid, vjepl zua! O'mm etl ecuav vji Qsuqugum-- xi'si huoph gus vji opkidvoup vufez epf O tatqidv ji'mm tdjifami vji tashisz wisz tjusvmz. Jot csievjoph ot hsiev sohjv pux, cav xi jefp'v vjuahjv ecuav jewoph vu hiv ov fupi cigusi vjev djephit. Zua hemt epf hazt jewi sitvusif nz tepovz!