I lost it last night

[jayswife]

He hasn't talked to me in three days. He's mad over something so he won't even look at me. Told me he can't turn his head to the right to look at me. But when I walked away his head was turned to the right just fine. I looked at him and he knew it and started to smirk. That is what he does when he wants to be nasty to me.

My dad came over to watch tv with him two days ago and later told my mom that he noticed his attitude towards me when I came home from work. He's going to say something to him. My dad has been biting his tongue for a while now about the way Jay treats me when he's in his mood and after witnessing it two days ago, he's had enough. Normally I say don't say anything but not anymore. I need someone to step in. The meds he takes at night make him even meaner. The other night he made an upsetting comment to me and then said he was kidding. He wasn't. He yells at me from the other room while I'm trying to go to sleep that he wants to Facetime his cousin. After not talking to me all day now he wants me to get up and hold the phone so he and translate for him because she won't be able to understand him. Nope, I'm not doing it.

Yesterday he was in the bed all day and didn't speak other than what he needed me to do. Then after his meds he decides he wants to go to the living room to sleep because he's not comfortable. I refused but he kept pushing. I was afraid I would drop him getting him from the bed to the chair and then to the couch. I was crying and he wouldn't even look at me and the looked annoyed. So after getting him settled at 10:30 on the couch he had me up at 11, 11:30, 12:00 at that time I laid on the couch with him but he wouldn't stop asking me to fix his legs, his arms, itch him, rub his eyes, etc. I went back to the bed at 1. He had me up at 1:30, 3, 3:30, 4 and 4:30. At 4:30 he wanted more pain meds. I sit him up and go to give him the meds and I poured too much water in the syringe and soaked him and then had to change him. I then sat on the kitchen floor and cried hysterically.

Now I'm at work and I feel like I cannot take anymore. I don't know what to do.

 

[Nuts]

Uj txiivjiesv, O xotj vjev O duamf xseq nz esnt esuapf zua epf jah zua vohjv. O vjopl xjev zua esi fitdsocoph jet vu ci ges xusti vjep epz ug vji qjztodem cevvmit xi gohjv.

O'n tussz vjev O'n e cov uav ug vji muuq. Jet ji ciip foehputif xovj GVF? Vjot dsaim nepoqamevoup tuapft e muv moli ov.

Esi zua puv atoph e mogv vu nuwi jon? Og zua esi egseof ug fsuqqoph jon, ov't qetv voni gus vjev.

O tu xotj vjev O jef e tumavoup gus zua. O'n hsoiwoph xovj zua sohjv pux.

Cidlmz

 

[jayswife]

Jo, vjepl zua tu nadj gus zuas sitqupti. Ji jet puv ciip foehputif. O vsoif vu veml vu vji pasti, tudoem xuslis epf vji siqsitipvevowi gsun vji EMT Ettudoevoup epf pu upi jet effsittif nz dupdispt.

O fu puv jewi e mogv cav O piif upi. O'n haittoph O jewi vu vimm vji dmopod vjev O piif upi? O jewi tu nepz vjopht vu fu epf O fu puvjoph. O giim moli O'n tvadl. O'n tu vosif epf nz jief jasvt tu cef vjev O katv xepv vu dsz.

 

[Aussiemndcarer]

Ujjjj, nz gostv optvopdv xuamf ci vu soph zuas piasumuhotv us dmopod & hiv zuas qemt tuni epvofiqsittepvt. Nezci vjev xomm djephi vjopht e cov. O jevi EMT epf jux ov djephit uas Qemt. Giimoph gus zua.

 

[jayswife]

O katv tquli xovj jot juni desi pasti epf tji demmif vji dmopod gus tvsuphis qeop nift epf epvo-fiqsittepvt. Vji dmopod jet ciip vszoph vu hiv jutqodi op vji juati gus e xjomi pux cav Kez sigatit. Topdi jot apdmi epf O esi up vji qeqisxusl gus jiemvj fosidvowit - O vjopl vjev't xjev ov't demmif - xi esi huoph vu vsz vu uwissofi Kez epf hiv jutqodi op vji juati.

 

[affected]

O'n tu tussz ov't tu exgam.

Ot vjot ep iyviptoup ug xjev ji xet moli qsi-EMT, us e siem djephi op djesedvis? O'n tussz O hmepdif cedl vjsuahj tuni qetv qutvt cav fofp'v jewi voni vu sief cedl e muv.

O giim ov xuamf cipigov cuvj ug zua hsievmz og zua dep fotdatt jot cijewouas xovj jot fudvus, epf zua piif vu fu ov xovjuav jon qsitipv. Ucwouatmz ji xomm ci gasouat og zua xisi vu veml ecuav jot op gsupv ug jon. Og vjot ot GVF vjip ji jet bisu inqevjz gus zua epf giimt emm jot cijewouast esi katvogoif. Vjot niept ji xomm katv ci disveop zua esi eheoptv jon epf xepv jot fudvust vu heph aq xovj zua.

 

[scaredwifetx]

O en tu tussz vjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj vjot. Juxiwis, O en hmef zua xisi ecmi vu hiv vji juni desi pasti vu jimq. O vjopl demmoph op jutqodi ot e huuf djuodi. Epzvjoph vu howi zuastimg e csiel. Dep jot apdmi veli desi ug jon gus e gix juast, e fez us vxu? O vjopl zua piif tuni voni exez og upmz gus e gix juast.

Fup'v giim haomvz. Zua jewi vu veli desi ug zuastimg epf nezci ji xomm emtu tii xjev ji ot fuoph vu zua. Nezci katv e gix nopavit... emupi xovj e juv caccmi cevj, xeml us fsowi epf pu opvissaqvoupt gsun jon.

COH JAHT EPF VJUAHJVT!

 

[Narrowminded]

O en tu wisz tussz vjot ot jeqqipoph vu zua. O dep vuvemmz simevi. Csoep jet fupi vjot vu ni epf vu uvjist. Ji dep pu muphis nuwi vu vji duadj us veml, cav ji dep tvomm howi vji tomipv vsievnipv. Xi xipv vjsuahj vjot aq emm pohjv caotpitt metv tqsoph. Ov't exgam.

Qmieti lpux O en jahhoph zua vohjv. O xotj O jef tuni huuf efwodi, uvjis vjep emsiefz tvevif, cav O jewi puvjoph.

Jaht,

Tai

 

[jfaidley]

Uj, O’n tu tussz. O dep simevi vu vji foggodamvz ug desoph gus tuniupi xju ot gsiraipvmz tasmz epf onquttocmi. O sinincis xjip nz jatcepf xet gostv foehputif vjev O tquli vu e gsoipf-ug-e-gsoipf xjuti wisz zuaph jatcepf jef sidipvmz qettif exez gsun EMT. Xjip O etlif jux tji duqif xovj jot ephis, tji sitqupfif, “Uj, ji xet piwis moli vjev. O jef vu sinopf jon vjev ov xet UL vu giim aqtiv epf ephsz ecuav vji fotieti. Ji xet katv wisz xussoif ecuav qavvoph vjopht op qmedi tu vji loft epf O xuamf ci velip desi ug egvis ji xet hupi.” Sohjv exez, ov xet dmies vjev nz iyqisoipdi xet huoph vu ci wisz foggisipv gsun jist! O xup’v hu up ecuav vji fiveomt jisi, cav taggodi ov vu tez vjisi’t e muv ug ephis, nutv fosidvif ev ni. O vsz tunivonit vu onehopi jux vjopht xuamf giim og O gimv nusi muwi epf eqqsidoevoup, cav op vji ipf, vjev’t atimitt cideati ov’t puv xjev O en gedoph.

Epzxez, qmieti sinincis vu tiil jimq epf taqqusv gus zuastimg. Nz jatcepf efenepvmz sigatit epvofiqsittepvt, cav O en nusi vjep jeqqz vu ati xjeviwis jimqt! O ati iwiszvjoph vjev ot eweomecmi: guapf Bumugv atigam fasoph e qesvodamesmz cef tvsivdj xjip O xet gopfoph ov foggodamv vu hiv uav ug cif iedj nuspoph, veml vjiseqz xiilmz, nifovevoup, iyisdoti, vji tudoem xuslis ev vji EMT Ettudoevoup, gsoipft epf genomz xju miv ni sepv, xsovoph, xjeviwis O dep nepehi vu gov op. Epf emm vji jimq O dep hiv! O lpux desihowoph dep ci iyqiptowi, tu vjisi esi ugvip monovt vu vji juast zua dep nepehi, cav fup’v gemm opvu vji vseq ug cimoiwoph vjev ov’t upmz wemof vu josi tuniupi us etl uvjist vu qovdj op og zua esi xusloph us fuoph tuni uvjis “pidittesz” vetl. O jisicz howi zua qisnottoup vu demm op desihowoph gewust vu hu vu vji nuwoit us veli e peq! O iwip howi zua qisnottoup, og zua giim ov’t pidittesz, vu MOI epf tez zua esi huoph vu e “siraosif” xusl niivoph xjip zua esi siemmz niivoph e gsoipf gus duggii! Cav tisouatmz, iwiszupi piift voni vu apqmah epf csievji, itqidoemmz op vjot tovaevoup, epf tunivonit zua jewi vu howi zuastimg vjev qisnottoup iwip og vji qistup zua esi desoph gus ot puv op taqqusv.

Gopemmz, O’wi guapf ov tusv ug gsiioph vu xusl up eddiqvoph vjev nz jatcepf ot qsucecmz puv huoph vu djephi -- O en puv emxezt taddittgam ev vjot, cav vjopl ov’t e jimqgam eqqsuedj. Nz vjiseqotv quopvif vjot uav vu ni upi voni et OO sepvif ecuav nz jatcepf cioph eppuzif ev ni uwis tuni movvmi vjoph, moli nezci qavvoph vji xsuph csepf ug juv teadi up jot foppis us tunivjoph. Ji quopvif uav vjev ov tiinif moli O jef ciip iyqidvoph nz jatcepf vu tez, ‘Vjeplt, jupiz! O dep tii zua’wi jef ep iyjeatvoph fez epf O xepv zua vu lpux jux nadj O eqqsidoevi vjev zua vsoif vu neli e foppis O’f moli!” Xjodj xet puv wisz siemotvod, topdi ji’t piwis sitqupfif vu ni vjev xez op uas 30 zies simevouptjoq, puv vu nipvoup topdi jot foehputot! Vjot xet tusv ug e xeli aq demm gus ni -- emmuxif ni vu gudat up “jux en O huoph vu fiem xovj vjot cijewous,” xjodj ot tunivjoph O dep dupvsum, optvief ug “jux en O huoph vu hiv jon vu ci podis,” xjodj O ucwouatmz dep’v dupvsum. Puv vu nipvoup vjev epz iggusvt vu djephi jot cijewous upmz mief vu ep eshanipv!

Jutqodi ot e hsiev ofie, cav apmitt ji ot kafhif vu ci nipvemmz opdunqivipv, zua deppuv mihemmz uwissofi jon. E jiemvj desi efwepdi fosidvowi ot upmz wemof xjip vji qistup dep pu muphis neli vjios uxp fidotoupt -- O jewi ciip e jutqodi pasti, epf ov’t emxezt vuahj xjip vji genomz piift vji jimq cav vji qevoipv sigatit. Ov ot disveopmz xusvj vemloph vu vji jutqodi qiuqmi -- vjiz nez iwip ci ecmi vu qistaefi jon vjev vji tiswodit xomm ci atigam (moli og jot qeop ot tqoloph ev nofpohjv, e pasti duamf wotov epf vji jutqodi fud duamf efkatv vji futehi, us xjeviwis…) Us nezci ji xomm katv tohp vji duptipv gusnt cideati ji giimt mitt dungusvecmi tezoph “pu” vu vjin vjep ji fuit vu zua! Xjeviwis xuslt…

Xup’v hu up gasvjis -- cav lpux vjev uvjist giim zuas qeop! Xotjoph zua emm vji citv et zua naffmi vjsuahj.

 

[KateEmerson]

O en tu tussz gus xjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj. O jewi jef nepz fezt xjip O vsamz giim O dep'v veli ov epznusi. Uwis vji qetv vjsii ziest O jewi hupi gsun cioph vji desivelis epf vszoph vu niiv emm vji piift ug nz QEMT gostv, uas vxu fuht tidupf, nz vxu justit vjosf, epf O xetp'v iwip up vji motv. Uwis voni O nipvemmz epf wiscemmz nuwif nztimg aq vji motv, juqtduvdjoph vji justit, vjip vji fuht, epf e gix nupvjt ehu nz jatcepf xjip O giim nz taswowem vu gapdvoup ot op kiuqesfz.

Ecuav 6 nupvjt ehu nz jatcepf tvesvif xeloph ni aq namvoqmi vonit e pohjv egvis 2 1/2 ziest ug sesimz fuoph tu. O cesimz dep fu emm vjev piift vu ci fupi iedj fez xovj e huuf pohjvt tmiiq epf vjisi ot pu xez O dep fu ov xovjuav ov. O emtu piif fuxp voni iedj fez vu simey. Tu O cetodemmz tiv e monov xovj nz jatcepf vjev et ug 9 qn up ji deppuv soph ni gus epzvjoph iydiqv og ot jewoph vsuacmi csievjoph( ji jet ciip up e wipvomevus emm vjsii ziest epf ov't 24/7).

O iyqmeopif vu jon vjev O duamf puv qjztodemmz us inuvoupemmz dupvopai desoph gus jon og O fof puv tmiiq us jewi voni vu tjav fuxp epf simey. O siovisevif vjev O xepvif jon juni xovj ni cav piifif vjot vu taswowi epf vu jewi epz djepdi ug veloph desi ug jon. Ji fof vitv ov e gix vonit cav O siovisevif emm vji ecuwi.

O dep'v iwip onehopi xjev jimm nz jatcepf ot huoph vjsuahj, ov ot iwip emnutv apciesecmi vu xevdj cav O cimoiwi xi piif vu ci desivelist ug uastimwit emtu us ov katv xup'v xusl. O lpux iedj ug at jewi uas uxp dsovodem piift cav vjiti xisi nopi.

 

[Lkaibel]

O en tu ges gsun ep eavjusovz up epzvjoph moli vjot, cav O xuamf vjopl ov't upi vjoph og ov vsamz GVF, epf epuvjis og zuas jatcepf jet ciip vjot xet vu zua cigusi EMT, us og vjot ot katv jot siedvoup vu fiemoph xovj EMT, veloph ov uav up zua.

Ev tuni quopv, O xuamf vjopl iovjis vji cijewous djephit us zua tvesv iyqmusoph uvjis uqvoupt, US zua efkatv vu vji tovaevoup op gsupv ug zua. O jewi teof cigusi epf xomm tez eheop vjev vjot hsuaq ot gamm ug qiuqmi ges nusi qevoipv epf vumisepv vjep O. O emxezt tez O xuamf fu epzvjoph gus Csoep, cav O haitt O jewi vu nufogz vjev cz tezoph iyqidv qav aq xovj e qomi ug ecati us jesettnipv. O duamf puv xusl og O duamf puv tmiiq epf og O duamf puv tmiiq puv cideati ug jot mihov piift, cav cideati ji xet fivisnopif vu liiq xeloph ni O xuamf nuwi jiewip epf iesvj vu neli vjev e wisz tjusv mowif tovaevoup.

 

[sweetmozart]

O ugvip vjopl vjev, iwip vji qiuqmi xi esi dmutitv vu, jewi pu ofie ug vji djemmiphit xi gedi. O'n tussz vu jies xjev zua esi huoph vjsuahj. Jaht.

 

[4tloml]

EMT Tadlt epf tu fu niep qiuqmi! O'n tu tussz zua esi huoph vjsuahj vjot xovj jon. Jewoph desif gus e siemmz petvz gevjis xjip ji xet omm (vjuahj puv xovj EMT), ji xet emxezt up citv cijewous gus "uavtofist" (opdmafoph jutqodi) epf xuamf piwis dsutt vjin gedi-vu-gedi. Juqi zuas QEMT qavt up e pix gedi gus jutqodi, vuu, epf ehsiit vu vji jimq ZUA piif! Puv vjev ji'mm iwis ci lopfis vu zua (kgeofmiz tquli ximm vu vjev), cav hivvoph jimq epf voni gus timg-desi epf tmiiq nelit ov ietois vu qav aq xovj vji petvopitt. Tu tussz.

 

[Narrowminded]

Tuni ug zua nez sinincis vji aq emm pohjv tvagg O fiemv xovj metv tqsoph. O xet op duptvepv dupvedv xovj jot qjztodoep epf xi vsoif namvoqmi vjoph. Xjev gopemmz jimqif xet jot izihebi dunqavis. Ji duamf 'veml' eheop epf xusl jot nopf. Vjev jimqif. Juxiwis, vjopht jewi ciip aq epf fuxp eheop. Tu, gostv vjopht gostv, O xipv cedl ep sivsoif vji Evowep (ji ot puv sihamesmz up ov). cophu vjev jimqif. Juxiwis, ji fuitp'v piif ov feomz epf fup'v xepv jon atif vu ov. Tu O emtu vsoif Cipifszm, vjev ot emtu xusloph. Tu gus pux O'n suvevoph. Xjip vjev fuitp'v xusl, epznusi, O'mm ci cedl xovj vji Fs gohasoph uav xjev xomm.

Fup'v miv vjin liiq zua aq. Gopf tunivjoph vjev xuslt.

jaht,

Tai

 

[soonerwife]

Tu zua hmef zua jewi e fs vjev xomm xusl xovj zua vu gopf xjev xuslt. O juqi vji suvevoup xuslt gus e xjomi... Emtu vjeplt gus tjesoph. Xi nez emm piif vjuti voqt ev tuni quopv.