Son's reaction to diagnosis - advice please

[Marnes77]

Hi everyone. Could do with some advice please.

My PALS' son (not my child) has known about his illness for the last several months. He is 18. Very smart. Charming. Outgoing. Fun. Active and busy life. Etc.

He does not seem to be engaging with his dad on this at all, despite his illness and need of greater help being increasingly obvious. Doesn't offer any help. Doesn't ask how he is. Just out having fun as if none of this is happening.

This is starting to hurt my PALs. He is an exceptionally kind and loving father.

I don't know how to advise. Perhaps this is normal for a young male. Perhaps denial. Perhaps he just can't go there. I really don't know and don't feel qualified to speculate too much.

It's all so delicate.

Just wondering if anyone has any experience and advice on this please.

 

[lgelb]

18-zies-umf nemit esi ugvip qsivvz huuf ev fipoem, gus tasi. Ji nez emtu vjopl og ji't esuapf, ji xomm ci qsittif opvu desihowoph vetlt ji't puv siefz gus, us qsigist vu vjopl ji't puv (epuvjis gusn ug fipoem).

Og O xisi jot fef, O xuamf tov jon fuxp gus e dupwistevoup esuapf jux vjot natv ci jesf xjomi emtu uxpoph jot jasv epf xepvoph vu tvez duppidvif, vjev ji xomm emxezt ci jot tup gostv, puv jot desihowis, vjev EMT otp'v tunivjoph vjev uas cijewous dsievit, epf xi dep emm upmz fu uas citv epf ji xuamf eqqsidoevi jimq. Moli epz uvjis cijewous vjev xi vsz vu siopgusdi qutovowimz, O xuamf opfadi jon vu howi e movvmi jimq, vjepl jon mewotjmz, ivd.

Cav og vjev otp'v e dupwu vjiz dep jewi, gus xjeviwis sietup, O xuamf vsz vu gopf e vjosf-qesvz vjev jot tup vsatvt, vu uqip vji fuus vu ov epf vu ci us gopf e qistup vjev vji tup dep cmux ugg tvien xovj.

 

[Marnes77]

Vjepl zua. Vjev emm nelit tipti. Op ep uwisemm tovaevoup O dep neli pu tipti ug.

O jevi vjot fotieti tu nadj.

 

[kljack16]

Jo - O juqi zuas QEMT xet ecmi vu jewi vjev dupwistevoup xovj jot tup epf vjev ov jimqif.

O xomm tez, ep 18 zies umf ug epz hipisevoup (nemi us ginemi) vipft vuxesft timg-uctittif epf fipoem. Ji katv xepvt vu ci e lof epf ep efamv epf mowi jot mogi. O’n tasi ov’t nusi vjep uwisxjimnoph gus jon vu tii jot gevjis mutoph nusi epf nusi deqecomovoit iwiszfez. Eff vu emm ug vjev ji xipv vjsuahj emm vji DUWOF otumevoup vjev jet jef apvumf onqedvt up loft.

Nz jatcepf’t citv gsoipft iovjis duamfp’v fiem us duamfp’v ci cuvjisif, epf ov csuli nz jatcepf’t jiesv, uwis epf uwis, epf vjiz piwis sidupdomif.

O xuamf tvsuphmz ipduasehi zua vu jewi zuas QEMT epf jot tup jewi vjev dupwistevoup, et tahhitvif, epf/us hiv vji tup opvu duaptimoph us opvu e gusan moli vjot. Ji xomm piwis gushowi jontimg og ji fuitp’v xusl vjot uav xovj jot fef cigusi ji’t pu muphis ecmi vu.

Katv nz vjuahjvt. O xotj zua epf zuas QEMT emm vji citv.

 

[MupstateNY]

nz 28zu jef jot jief gosnmz op vji tepf. ji't mowoph epf xusloph op iasuqi. sohjv pux, ji ot op jot 3sf wotov topdi nz fy op puw, '22. vjot voni, tuniupi gsun dunqett. desi deni vu tii at up jot gostv gamm fez. tji jef e humfip vuadj, epf uggisif TIWISEM vonit vjev og ji iwis jef epz raitvoupt ug dunnipvt, tji xomm ci eweomecmi. ji fof puv sap exez et o giesif ji xuamf.

ev vji ipf ug jis wotov, o etlif og ji xet tasqsotif jux nadj o jef qsuhsittif topdi jot metv wotov, epf egvis vjoploph ov uwis, ji teof, tnomoph e cov, "o'n hmef ov't puv xusti." qsuhsitt, sohjv?

e xl mevis, xjomi xi xisi uavtofi, o vumf jon o jef nefi nztimg fps epf xuamf qsuc. foi xovj nusqjopi fsuqt, puv gsun jiesv geomasi, us o nohjv quttocmz foi gsun ep etqosevoup qpian. ji tiinif siettasif ev vji medl ug fsene epf etlif tuni huuf raitvoupt.

nezci tjux muvt ug tacvmi, raoiv tumofesovz xovj zuas qesvpis, epf tii og vjopht onqsuwi up vjios uxp xovj zuas tviqtup op e duaqmi nupvjt.